STOP THE VIOLENCE...

STOP THE VIOLENCE

DISPELLING MYTHS ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE ABUSED

WOMAN ABUSE IS:

NOT something that happens to only poor, uneducated women.
NOT something that women deserve or enjoy.
NOT the result of a woman’s actions, personality, or culture.
NOT fabricated by women whose memories are "false".
NOT a "bed" that women have made and should "continue to lie in".
NOT caused by women partnering with the "wrong" person.
NOT caused by women being addictive, co-dependent, or helpless

ALARMING STATISTICS: TEEN DATING VIOLENCE
a."Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest rates of intimate partner violence."

b. " Teen girls face relationship violence three times more than adult women."

c. " One in five high school girls is physically or sexually hurt by a dating partner. As many as one-third of teens experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships, including verbal and emotional abuse."

d. "Only one-third of teens who have been in or known about an abusive dating relationship report having told anyone about it."

e. "One third of teens worry about their physical safety."

f. " A quarter say they've been isolated from family and friends."

g. "More than half say they've compromised their own beliefs to please a partner."

h. And most shocking of all: "Many teens think this behavior is normal."

**From a study done by Liz Claiborne: www.loveisnotabuse.com

TYPES OF VIOLENCE: Verbal abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, and Financial abuse

MALES can be victims as well, and they are even less likely to report it than females

As the tears stream down my face
I think of how I should forgive him
It was my fault

As the blue bruises form on my arms and legs
I think of how I need to get away
I love him though

As the bat strikes my back
I think of how I should have told someone

As I lay in my hopital bed
looking at the flowers he sent
I think of how sorry he is
He didnt mean it.

As I lay in my grave now
I dont think at all
I see it though
replayed, again and again
the day I died
What went wrong?
I thought he loved me.

STOP THE VIOLENCE

CHILDREN OF VIOLENT HOMES:

"CHILDREN FROM VIOLENT HOMES GROW UP BELIEVING THAT:
It is all right for men to hit women.
Violence is a way to win arguments.
It is OK to hit someone if you are feeling angry or upset.
Men are powerful, women are weak.
There are few, if any, negative consequences for abusive acts.
They are responsible for abuse and responsible for solutions."

SOME STATISTICS OF CHILDREN WITNESSING WOMAN ABUSE

One study of young offenders charged with crimes against people showed that over 50% had been exposed to woman abuse as children.

Violent behaviour is learned and studies show that between 40-60% of assaultive men witnessed woman abuse during their childhood.

Children who have witnessed abuse are at increased risk of showing less empathy and having lower self-esteem.

Children who have witnessed abuse have lower verbal, cognitive, and motor skills than children who do not witness violence in the home.

Studies show that children who witness woman abuse exhibit more aggression and antisocial as well as fearful and inhibited behaviours.

Children who live in homes where women are abused demonstrate lower social competence and show more anxiety, aggression, depression, and temperament problems.

SURVIVAL

HOW VICTIMS SURVIVE ABUSE AND TRY TO PROTECT THEMSELVES AND THEIR CHILDREN FROM VIOLENCE
Fighting back and defying the perpetrator
Pleasing and placating the perpetrator, complying with his demands
Not telling anyone about the violence for fear of making things worse
Not leaving for fear of making things worse
Leaving to try and make things better
Avoiding the perpetrator, e.g., working separate shifts
Protecting the kids by sending them away
Punishing the kids to avoid the perpetrator doing it or to keep them from upsetting him
Searching for help, going to a shelter, calling the police, getting a restraining order, trying to find help for the perpetrator
Dropping the search for help as a way to protect herself
Being "devious" as a way to survive, lying to the perpetrator and others
Encouraging the perpetrator to drink so he’ll pass out and not hurt anyone
Reasoning with the perpetrator and expressing disapproval of his behaviour
Trying to improve the relationship
Creating an internal space through fantasies that the perpetrator cannot touch
Having sex to placate the perpetrator and protect the children from violence
Drinking and using drugs to numb her pain
Lying about the perpetrator’s criminal activity or child abuse so he will not increase his violent behaviour or because he is her sponsor in Canada or because she is afraid the children will be removed

***To learn more about teen dating violence and the Lindsay Ann Burke Memorial Fund click on www.labmf.org

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